


Out at the Ball Game

by bestliars



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Coming Out, M/M, Minnesota, Minnesota Lynx, Minnesota Twins, Minnesota Wild
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-12
Updated: 2013-07-12
Packaged: 2017-12-19 05:47:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/880145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bestliars/pseuds/bestliars
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everything that happens might have been avoidable if it had been a better baseball game.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Out at the Ball Game

**Author's Note:**

> The first day I had twitter on my phone I went to a Twins game. I don’t really understand baseball, so I started telling myself a story. I shared this idea with twitter, and they told me to write it, and now here it is. This is totally not my fault.
> 
> Thanks to Stellarer for being a beautiful beta.

What happens isn’t planned.

Calling it a calculated move would be giving them _way_ too much credit, although it’s not like it comes entirely out of the blue. They’ve talked about it. They've been bouncing ideas back and forth since last summer, brainstorming different dramatic reveals, never making a real decision. 

When they signed they knew that coming out together was something they should start thinking about. Zach signed to play hockey with his partner in Minnesota, and he isn’t going to spend the next thirteen years hiding what they mean to each other. He understands that coming out is something important on both personal and political levels; they both do. Coming out is something they’re going to do, eventually — not right away though, not before they’ve played a single game for their new team. It’s fine for them to enjoy the summer first; being out can wait til later.

Only then there’s the lockout, then the condensed season, then the playoffs, then getting over feeling like crap because of the playoffs, then before they know it, summer again, and they’re at a baseball game, and they still haven’t let the world know they’re together.

Everything that happens next might have been avoidable if it had been a better baseball game.

The Twins are losing, but the weather is lovely. Hot, but not _too_ hot, with a good breeze. Zach honestly cannot think of a nicer way to spend a summer afternoon. Ryan's arm is stretched over the back of his chair, casual yet propriety, a reminder of their ongoing lack of personal space. 

Between innings the screen displays shots of the crowd. There are families, and couples, and groups of people all wearing the same shirt. Baseball is the great American pastime, and it brings out all kinds of folks. On screen a girl pulls her boyfriend closer to kiss, and Zach is reminded of one of the hypothetical situations from their brainstorming. It’s just an idea, not even a good idea, but Zach remembers it, and has to ask if Ryan does too.

"So, remember that time we talked about outing ourselves on the kiss cam?" Zach asks.

“I do remember that idea, as much as I may have prefered to forget it.”

That had been one of their worst ideas, because that isn't the kind of revelation that should come in the middle of a hockey game, especially not one that you're playing in. But buried somewhere deep that possible disaster there _might_ be a good idea, maybe.

“You know, they have a kiss cam here too,” Zach says. “So, like, what if we did that?”

“Are you suggesting we come out on the kiss cam at a Twins game?”

“Yes.” That is what Zach is suggesting. Oh god, why is he suggesting this.

“Really?” Ryan asks.

“Yep.” Zach nods. He’s really suggesting this. Really. He is.

“It could work," Ryan says. "It's not the worst idea."

That really isn’t saying much.

“It’s an idea, yeah, but I don’t know if it’s _the right_ idea.” Zach knows how big this is. This is going to make the news, it might make history books. How they come out will follow them around forever. It will be part of every story going forward, it won’t be something they can ignore or forget.

“Is there a right idea?” Ryan doesn’t sound sure. “It’s gonna be weird no matter how we do it.”

“True.” Zach can’t imagine a way that isn’t at least a little bit terrifying. This fear isn’t dependent on the method, but exists because honesty is scary and revealing long-time secrets to the whole world is a petrifying prospect. There’s no way it can be easy or fun, but there are ways it can be _better._ “But we get to decide what the most right choice is, and that’s kind of a lot of pressure.”

“How about this—” Ryan proposes, “if Mauer gets a hit, we'll do it.”

It’s probably be dumb to leave something like this up to chance, decided on the outcome of a single play in a sporting event, which Zach knows isn’t just random probability, but a mix of skill and luck and whimsy. Why should he let something so monumental be determined by something so arbitrary?

“Sounds like an alright plan,” Zach says. He’s happy to hand over this decision to forces outside of his control.

Mauer hits a home run, and as Zach follows the play and joins in the roar of the crowd he starts to realize what this means.

It’s overwhelming.

What just happened was awesome. It tied the game, and Zach’s optimistic about the Twin’s chances for a win, but it’s more than that.

He's amazed that this hit could shortly become one of the most important events determining the course of his life. This home run has the power to change everything.

He knows he could still back out, Ryan won't hold him to their wager, but … if they don't do it now, they’ll have to do it another time. If they don’t do this now, they’ll go back to considering their choices. If they don’t do this now, they’ll have time to deliberate. If they don’t do this now, who knows how long it will be before they do anything.

“So, we’re doing this,” Zach says. They might as well. It isn’t the worst possible decision.

They won’t make the actual, official kiss cam, because there isn’t any reason why the Twins camera people would think they’re a couple, but there’s a fair chance the camera will be on them at some point in the afternoon. They’ll be ready for it.

It’s strange. Normally when they’re out in public Zach has always had to _not_ lean over and kiss Ryan, no matter how much he might want to. Now he has to ignore the butterflies in his stomach and prepare to kiss his partner so everyone can see. They haven’t done anything yet, but Zach can feel the tension and adrenaline running through him in anticipation.

Then the camera is on them. They’re up on the screen for everyone to see. Zach is ashamed to say he freezes for a second, but fuck, it’s kind of a big deal. His instinct is to smile innocuously, maybe wave, not do anything noteworthy. Fortunately, Ryan has it covered. Zach can see that Ryan is smiling as he leans in for a kiss.

It’s a short kiss, chaste but sweet. It’s a comfortable little kiss, one they’ve perfected over the past year. It’s a kiss for walking into the same room, exchanged before leaving to run errands. It’s the kiss they use to say _I love that I get to see you every day._

Before the kiss ends the camera jumps to another section, and Zach leans back, looking up at the sky. “Did we really just do that?” He asks.

“Yeah.” Ryan sounds a bit short of breath.

Zach’s lips are still tingling, but it’s still a struggle to believe they actually did it. “Pretty gutsy of us,” he says.

“Yeah, but it was good.”

Yeah. Zach guesses it was pretty good. Now it’s out there, now the world knows.

It was a good kiss too. No matter how this turns out they have that; it was a damn good kiss.

**// \\\ // \\\ // \\\**

The Twins lose, which isn’t much of a surprise. Zach’s seen them lose worse than this. His happiness isn’t tied to their performance. He doesn’t like losing, but this doesn’t hurt.

They get stuck in a traffic jam, part of the mass exodus of disappointed baseball fans headed out of downtown. It hits Zach somewhere on I-394 that he just outed himself, that people know, that he told everyone. The panic comes on like strong summer storm, when it goes from slightly overcast to pouring rain in the blink of an eye.

It’s a good thing Ryan’s driving. Ryan’s a good driver, he keeps both hands on the wheel. He has the radio tuned to MPR. There’s a dull voiced woman discussing the weather. It’s supposed to pour later. Zach can see the clouds rolling in, taste the thunder on the way. Sometimes he thinks he can feel a coming storm in his knee, but that’s probably psychosomatic bullshit. They’re lucky the rain held off through the end of the game.

“Are you freaking out?” Ryan asks. He sounds very calm, but he almost always does. Ryan sounded calm before the start of OT in the Olympic gold medal game. Zach knows his tone can be deceiving.

“Kind of.” Zach’s not gonna lie, he’s a bit freaked out, and he could see it getting worse once the shock fades, but really, “It’s not too bad.”

“It’s okay to freak out, it’s a pretty big deal,” Ryan says, tone as even as ever. 

“Do you regret it?” Zach is pretty sure he doesn’t. If today’s choice was not an absolutely great decision, at least it will be one he can be proud of in the future.

“Do I regret kissing you? No.” Ryan sounds very confident, and very calm. “But I do have to admit, this wasn’t exactly what I planned on doing today.”

“Yeah, it’s a little bit crazy.” Or a whole lot of crazy; or the right amount of crazy; an amount of crazy yet to be determined.

“But at least it’s done now,” Ryan says. “We wanted people to know, and now they do.”

They know, and it’s terrifying.

Zach will try very hard to think about other things. First the scroll of the scenery they pass, then getting home and walking from room to room looking for a suitable distraction. In the end one finds him.

Zach’s standing in front of the picture window looking at the sky when Ryan comes up behind him. Ryan’s just a couple inches taller, but it’s enough to make Zach feel safe. He curls into the contact, and they settle into a hug.

“I have no fucking clue what we just did,” Zach says, very quietly, his voice further muffled since he’s speaking into Ryan’s shoulder.

“I’m not sure either, but we did it, so — now we just wait and see.”

Zach can maybe do that, he probably can do that, that is something he can do if he gets some help. “Alright, we’ll wait — but I need you to not let me let me worry too much.”

Ryan kisses him. This is a private kiss, only possible because they’re alone in the room. It isn’t a kiss they would be willing to share with anyone else. There’s too much fire, too much promise. This kiss is the start of something good, the continuation of something lasting. It’s a kiss that lacks precision, a kiss emphasised by Ryan’s hands on Zach’s ass trying to pull them even closer together. It’s a kiss that gives them momentum upstairs, into their bed. A kiss that continues through every roll of their hips, that swallows every gasp and moan. It’s a kiss that doesn’t end when they’re spent and sated. It lasts until it’s mostly the memory of a kiss as they take deep breaths with their lips still touching.

This kiss, in all its permutations, makes Zach feel a better about what they did. Good enough to fall asleep anyway, making the time pass faster as they wait to see the world’s response to their spontaneous kiss cam revelation.

**// \\\ // \\\ // \\\**

The problem is that people don’t really get it. Zach probably shouldn’t have expected one hurried kiss to communicate just how crazy about and committed to Ryan he is, but he kind of had. At least he thought this would clue everyone in to the fact that they’re super gay for each other, but it didn’t even manage that. 

The story gets spread around Twitter, and picked up by Deadspin, but it’s all framed as _bros being weird and bromantic,_ not _secret love revealed!_ Some people have the right idea, but more people don’t. Whether this comes from willful ignorance or just cluelessness, Zach doesn’t know.

It wasn’t the worst plan ever, but that doesn’t mean it was a particularly good one. It was a start, a first push at the closet door, but it didn’t quite blow the damn thing open the way Zach thought it would. They still need another plan.

“Look, we can do this properly now.” Zach says. He doesn’t really know what _properly_ coming out involves, but presumably it means talking to an actual members of the media, not just kissing on camera. “We can sit down with Russo, or like, Ellen, whatever”

Ryan sets his face stubbornly. “No.”

“No?” Zach doesn’t understand this refusal.

“No,” Ryan says. “I liked what we did.”

“Yeah, I did too, I guess, but it didn’t really work the way we wanted to.”

“Well,” Ryan says. “We’ll just have to do it again. People will figure it out sooner or later.”

Zach doesn’t have a better plan, and Ryan has his mind made up, so that’s what they do.

The Twins won’t put them on camera again, but they can work around that. They get tickets for a Lynx game. Not as many people will see it right away, because it’s the WNBA, but whatever. The Lynx win. Apparently this is a thing they do a lot. Zach and Ryan have courtside seats, and kiss when the camera is on them.

It’s a better kiss this time. The last kiss took gumption. Zach was too startled by his own actions to put any effort into the actual kiss. This time they’re kissing with a hint of intent, and a little bit of tongue. Not much, because they don’t need everyone to see that, but enough to make it clear that it’s a more than friendly kiss.

There’s a smattering of crowd reaction, but not much.

Zach’s not even sure they’re recognized as hockey players, not just guys who are kissing on camera. Still, it’s going to get out, and it isn’t a kiss that could be misinterpreted as anything platonic.

**// \\\ // \\\ // \\\**

People notice, people say things. Zach has his filters set up, so he doesn’t see everything that’s said, thank god, but he gets the highlights.

Semione Augustus has a nice quote, expressing her enthusiasm for more LGBT athletes visible in Minnesota sports. She seems awesome. Zach thinks they’re going to start attending Lynx games more often.

Chris Kluwe takes to Twitter, condensing how ballsy he thinks their act was into 140 character bombs of curse words and references to pop culture things Zach’s never heard of.

Mikko gets asked about it by a Finnish magazine, and his comment seems very supportive, if Google Translate can be trusted. He already knew, but Zach wasn’t entirely sure how he’d handle it in the press.

Ownership doesn’t do anything to directly address the incident, which is probably for the best considering what Ryan’s said about Leipold in the past. There’s a vague statement issued that the Wild support all of their players, blah blah, welcoming diversity, etc, etc,which is fine.

Zach is trying not to obsess over what anyone is saying about them.

They’ve been gently scolded by agents who knew something like this was coming eventually, though the actual mode of disclosure did come as a surprise. Apparently no one thought they’d be this upfront about it. Zach’s still a bit surprised at that too, though as the dust starts to settle he’s beginning to feel that they could have done a lot worse. At least it’s done.

They get something set up to talk to Russo later on, and some national news sources. They’re gonna get it all out there before the season starts. They’ll say what should be said and hope it fades away, so that by the time October rolls around the questions will be about their play, not their love life.

Hopefully by the time their season starts their coupledom will be normal, or at least on its way to mundane. Maybe someday they’ll even make it onto the kiss cam at the X. Zach still wishes that Ryan would wear a visor, but the fact that he doesn’t would make kissing easier. It’s probably still a bad idea. There are better and worse places to show affection, and in the middle of a hockey game is among the worse. Still, it’s a possibility. It wouldn’t be a revelation. They can kiss wherever they want now. It doesn’t matter, people already know. They can kiss, or hold hands, commit whatever public displays of affection they feel comfortable with.

And that — well it’s pretty scary, downright terrifying to be honest, but it’s also kind of great.

**Author's Note:**

> Ryan Suter really doesn’t wear a visor, which is very not ok.  
> The Lynx are pretty great. They’re the pro-sports team in the state that actually wins things, and that they don’t get paid attention to is pretty sad. Augustus is an out lesbian.  
> Stellarer said I could blame her for the title.


End file.
